Monthly Archives: March 2002

New links from all over the spectrum: Ben Domen…

New links from all over the spectrum:

Ben Domenech, Counter-Revolutionary, Middle East Realities, and Interesting Monstah. In the NIT section — for now, anyway.

Arabs Rally to Protect Arafat,

Arabs Rally to Protect Arafat, Promote Peace Plan (washingtonpost.com)

Says a lot about these guys that they seem more concerned about the safety of one old man than of many, many Israels and Palestinians. But then, they’re all tyrants.

It’s disingenuous even for these guys to act all concerned. They bear a lot of the blame for this. They’re the ones who won’t take in Palestinian refugees, or when they do reduce them to third-class status. They’re the ones who stir up anti-Semitism at every turn. The Saudis are spewing Wahabiism. The Egyptians pushed Arafat to reject the Clinton-Barak plan. The Kuwaitis expelled their Palestinian population — though they were admittedly provoked.

They got what they wanted — a war in Canaan. They should be happy, a lot of Jews are going to get killed. As for the Palestinians, hey, they get to go to Paradise, right? It’s a win-win situation.

Clueless people

News Analysis: After a Dire Day, Trying to See Beyond Revenge

But there were also those who thought the bombing might just provide the vicious jolt needed finally to call a halt to the bloodshed.

These are known as “clueless people”. This isn’t going to stop until one side or the other — or both — is beaten. I hate it, but it’s true. And asking the Israelis to sit there and take it while they get blown up and shot is ridiculous. It’s time that the Palestinians learn just how forebearing Israel has been all this time.

Ketchup Packet Bear

Ketchup Packet Bear

Uh… OK.

If you’re going to put together a giant ketchup-packet bear to shoot at, the least you can do is get a real gun. I mean, a BB gun? That’s just sad.

(Via Pop Culture Junk Mail, again.)

Stormwatch!

ANCHOR: Hi, welcome to Birmingham’s Fox 6 News. I’m Scot Reynolds. Our top stories tonight: The U.S. has declared war on Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, and Belgium; Yasser Arafat has killed himself and French President Jacques Chirac in a hara-kiri suicide-bomb love pact; and House Majority Whip Tom DeLay has announced that he is getting a sex-change operation and wishes to be known as “Princess Petunia”. But first:

GRAVELLY VOICED-VOICEOVER GUY:
STORMWATCH 2002:
It’s Raining!

SCOT: I now turn it over to Bob in the Fox 6 Weather Command Center. Bob?

CHIEF WEATHER GUY: Scot, a line of storms is crossing over from Mississippi even as we speak, raining blood, death, devastation, and horror everywhere in its wake. Hundreds are without power and several turkeys drowned to death looking up at the sky with their beaks open. For more details, let’s go to Steve, who has the Doppler 2002 Color Weather Watcher Radar. Steve?

BALD WEATHER GUY: Thank you, Bob. As you can see here, there’s blue, green and some yellow here, in Greene County. And behind it, some orange. It’s possible — I can’t say for sure — that some of that orange could turn into red, or even pink.

SCOT: Pink?!? Oh my God, we’re all going to die!

BWG: No, Scot, that’s okay. As long as there’s no fuschia, only people in trailer parks will be killed.

CWG: Fuschia?!? Where?!?

SCROLL: Those of you wishing to see the last episode of “The X-Files”, the show has been postponed so we can bring you exclusive coverage of STORMWATCH 2002. You can tune in Monday Morning at 3 AM to see the show.

SCOT: We now have Art Frampton, who is standing outside the station. Art?

TOKEN BLACK REPORTER: Scot, as you can see here, it is quite windy. This indicates that rain is on its way. Or not, how the hell would I know? It’s still quite windy. If you weigh less than thirty pounds, you should probably stay indoors, or carry weights with you wherever you go.

CWG: We now have Joe in the newsroom, who is looking at the satellite maps. Joe?

WEEKEND WEATHER GUY: Bob, the satellite map here shows a lot of clouds in the same damn line from the Great Lakes to Louisiana that every other satellite map seems to show. If it’s actually moving, it will be here soon.

CWG: Thank you. And I’d just like to give a big hello to the kids in Mrs. Rivers’ 4th-grade class at Central Elementary School, who got me this nice cake. I talked to them about the weather today. Steve?

BWG: Bob, I’m looking at the radar and I see a small indentation that indicates that conditions are favorable for a tornado.

SCOT: Oh no, we’re doomed!!!

BWG: Oh, wait, the radar just recycled. It’s gone now.

MAC: I’m going to Blockbuster.

For U.S. Troops, It’s Personal (washingtonpost.com…

For U.S. Troops, It’s Personal (washingtonpost.com)

Those wacky soldiers, taking war personally!

Okay, okay… Since World War II, we’ve fought a number of wars, and had even more sub-war engagements. But it’s been hard to really get worked up over them, at least in a positive way. This time, it really is personal. I don’t think that some people, in the media and in the government, realize that. These soldiers are US citizens, and they reflect what Americans feel. And Americans are behind this war — not just on a “hurrah for us!” way like the Gulf War, but in a “this job needs to be done” way.

Why am I up so kate?

Why am I up so late? Well, I came home from work and fell asleep, that’s why. Now, I can’t get back to sleep and have all this energy.

I finally got around to organizing the links, completely arbitrarily, of course. I don’t suppose anyone but me cares, but notes:

Seedings other than the top two or three are completely arbitrary and mostly reflect the prior, completely haphazard, order.
Britons have been (arbitrarily) placed in the Midwest to balance the regions. Norwegians, however, are in the East. Australians are in the West because you fly out of California to get to Australia.
Texas is undefinable, but for the purposes of this has been placed in the Midwest.
All members of the Axis of Weevil, no matter their current location, have been placed in the South.