Backfence: Yoda, shmoda! Lucas can’t direct Jam…

Backfence: Yoda, shmoda! Lucas can’t direct

James Lileks dares to speak the truth. (Via Possumblog.)

The Miami Herald | 05/12/2002 | The high cost of c…

The Miami Herald | 05/12/2002 | The high cost of changing Panhandle’s name

Marketing types want to change the name of Florida’s Panhandle region to the “Great Northwest”. Which (a) sounds like a collegiate sports conference, and (b) also sounds like Oregon and Washington, or possibly even Canada.

Heck, they must really hate what we call the area — especially Panama City and Pensacola — around here: “Lower Alabama”. Culturally, it’s basically part of ‘Bama anyway, you know.

Body discovered in attic after resident complains …

Body discovered in attic after resident complains of blood dripping from ceiling

One of those things that seems to happen a lot in South Florida.

”It could be as innocent as someone going up in the crawl space and suffering a heart attack, or as sinister as a homicide,” Schwartz said.

Um… People who suffer heart attacks don’t normally start bleeding externally, do they?

Carter speech to be carried on local TV, radio …

Carter speech to be carried on local TV, radio

In Miami, anyway. The link says it will be available on the Internet as well, but the story doesn’t. Anyway, I don’t speak Spanish, though I can read it a little.

Bono To Tour Africa With Treasury Secretary I d…

Bono To Tour Africa With Treasury Secretary

I don’t think “Treasury Secretary” is a very good name for a band, do you? Oh, he’s touring with the actual Treasury Secretary, and they’re not doing concerts. Which is kind of weird, but OK, I guess.

BBC News | SCI/TECH | Starship dream moves closer …

BBC News | SCI/TECH | Starship dream moves closer

The Planetary Society is sponsoring a test of a solar-sail spacecraft, scheduled for this fall. Wow.

Stone Knives and Bearskins NASA needs 8086 chip…

Stone Knives and Bearskins

NASA needs 8086 chips

They’re also looking for eight-inch floppy drives. Heck, those were already obsolete in 1981, weren’t they?

Jacko to moonwalk into space? Michael Jackson w…

Jacko to moonwalk into space?

Michael Jackson wants to go to outer space… So many snide comments… Brain overloading… ARGH!

I just had an idea for the next poll. Excuse me a moment.

CNN.com - Parents of Aaliyah sue Virgin over fatal…

CNN.com - Parents of Aaliyah sue Virgin over fatal crash - May 14, 2002

Remember: No matter what happens to cause injury, you can always sue somebody. That’s what America is all about!

Great Moments in Psychiatric Disorders Moon’s D…

Great Moments in Psychiatric Disorders

Moon’s Dust Hides a Throbbing Heart

William J. Broad of the NYT appears to have some sort of sexual hangup involving the moon.

It takes two and a half seconds for a laser beam to flash from Earth to the Moon and back again. But it has taken 33 years of doing such experiments for scientists to glimpse what may be the Moon’s greatest secret: that far beneath its cold craters and rocky landscape lies a heart that is warm and yielding.

Other words included in this story: “born”, “sensitive”, “pliable”, “bulging”, “melted heart”, “Love numbers”.

Seriously, current astronomical theory holds that the moon is the product of a collision between a rogue planet and the Earth in the very early days of the solar system. Scientists are hoping to discover that the lunar core is partially molten, which would reinforce the theory.