Who cares?

washingtonpost.com: Martha Stewart Convicted on All Counts

Honestly, why is this the biggest story in the world? Am I missing something?

(UPDATE: You’re not alone, Ezra.)

Troll of the day

War Liberal: Blaming Canada — again

Is “drakken”, who at least chose a post on the front page rather than Googling for someone to abuse.

Also, apparently I’m a hippie. Groovy.

Blaming Canada — again

The Sardonic Subversive: They weren’t carrying f#$%ing passports…

Six Canada Geese were hit by an airliner in Texas. Except that the FAA calls them “Canadian Geese”. Or maybe they were Canadian geese by nationality? You can’t trust Canadian birds. We may have to close the border.

Up yours, PETA

CNN.com - Got milk? Overweight kids may need it - Mar. 5, 2004

One of that group’s more asinine stands has been against dairy products. They’ve claimed, among other things, that drinking milk leads to obesity. Turns out that it’s the opposite. Oops!

Prince of Wales Fish

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Charles warns on vanishing fish

Prince Charles — who is more influential than I, I guess, but no more powerful — has come out against overfishing. He suggests, among other things, the dreaded market solutions to the problem.

Thankfully, we’re all perfectly safe

Chemical weapons facility fails test

The Army just doesn’t understand why everyone’s so worked up about this little chemical weapons disposal facility of theirs. I mean, so they seem to have a sarin leak once a week. And so they failed Federal pollution guidelines for PCBs. Hey, they’re the Army! Nobody’s been killed yet, so it’s a win as far as they’re concerned.

Meddling kids

Local students see fruit of their labors

Some third graders have lobbied the Alabama Senate into voting the blackberry the state fruit. It should have been the peach, but they decided, from the height of their eight-year-old wisdom, that we shouldn’t have the same state fruit as Georgia. Blackberries, ick. Another group of kids from the same school previously forced through the salamander as the state amphibian, but which salamander? There are lots of salamanders.

I’m sorry but I have to do this

Allentown Elementary shut down

And we’re living here in Allentown
And they closed the elementary school down
The roof they bought for a song
Is really bad
It won’t last long
We have no school in Allentown

Sorry, I promise to never quote Billy Joel lyrics again unless I really feel like it.

The Mobile County school is closed indefinitely while they fix the improperly installed roof. The students and teachers will move to the Semmes Elementary School. There’s a problem, though: Allentown had 760 students and Semmes holds 550, and there certainly isn’t enough room for all. They’re going on a rotation system where one school meets in the morning the other in the afternoon. A quality education will be had for all.

The company that managed the construction of the school six years ago (and which is being sued by the school district) says that it didn’t actually build the school so it’s not responsible for the faulty construction. Riiiiiiiiight.

Cheap Little Troll

Sessions evolves into budget hawk

Jeff Sessions is among the rebel Republican Senators who are complaining about the deficits his party is rolling up. Normally, I’d complement him on his political courage, but (a) he doesn’t have to run again until 2008, (b) Richard Shelby provides him with political cover for going against pork for Alabama, and (c) he’s spent the most part of his time complaining about the road bill, which Bush has complained about as well.