Thomason Tracts

Aruba yard searched for second day in [H*ll*w*y] case - CNN.com

I had a rule that I would never talk about N*t*l** H*ll*w*y, but new site, new rules. Anyway, this case is going to last forever. In the year 2176, scuba divers will be searching for N*t*l** H*ll*w*y where the now-flooded island of Aruba once was. The search for Osama bin Laden should be so diligent. I, personally, hold to my brother’s opinion that N*t*l** H*ll*w*y is alive and well in Mexico, having fled from her obviously insane mother.

Sock monkeys on mission to comfort troops

But hey, cheer up, volunteers are sending you guys sock monkeys!

From CNN:

All together now: EEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Militia suspects harmless, lawyer says

Sigh.

“Ted Kennedy’s car has killed more people than these folks,” said lawyer Scott Boudreaux, appointed to represent Raymond Dillard, 46. “I’m more concerned about the 100 homicides in Birmingham each year than some Bubba in DeKalb County.”

This guy is going to be great in court, I’m sure. I’m guessing that the trial would be in Huntsville. If Huntsville juries are anything like Birmingham juries, he’s effectively insulted everyone. Including his clients:

“I think the whole idea was that if somebody came to invade their mobile home they would be ready,” he said. “Nobody’s alleging they were planning to blow up Oklahoma City. They were only a threat if they were stupid enough to blow up themselves.”

Yeah, this is going to be fun.

BJCC OKs $25 million hospitality district plan

Remember Birmingham Green? Of course you don’t. As I recall, it was the plan of my childhood where the city of Birmingham would plant lots of grass and trees downtown, which would lead to prosperity. Okay, this seems a little more thought out, but not much. There are reasons to go to downtown Memphis. Birmingham? Not really.

UA explores expansion of Bryant-Denny Stadium | TideSports.com

Do you know how long ago the last expansion was finished? Right before last season. What is this, the Atlanta highway plan?

Breaking News from The Birmingham News: Agents in raids find 130 grenades, 2,500 rounds of ammo

Apparently this group called itself a “free militia”. Oh boy. They also had an IED, a homemade rocket launcher, and a machine gun. They’ve been charged with “conspiracy to make a firearm”, which insinuates that there’s a right to bear arms but not a right to make them. Seems odd.

Make the Bad Men Stop: Bama to Get a Real Elephant? « Loser with Socks

If we got a real elephant for the football games, people would certainly take notice, and it would sure put Auburn’s stupid bird in its place. It’s not true, though, I’m sure. There’s nowhere to put an elephant, either in the stadium or on campus. Tuscaloosa doesn’t even have a zoo.

Breaking News from The Birmingham News: Northeast Alabama raids force school closure

Federal agents conducting mass raids in northern Alabama? I’d be hiding under my desk. Now, I figure they’re just using overwhelming force against pot growers or something.

Increase in narcissism a cause for concern, psychologist says

I’d look into it, but I’m just too darned good-looking.