Aah, we’re all gonna die!

Asteroid to skirt Earth on future Friday the 13th

The asteroid Apophis, named after a Stargate SG-1 character the ancient Egyptian god of destruction, will make a close pass of the Earth on April 13, 2029. Or not. These things have a tendence to not happen, because asteroid orbits are easily perturbed. Of course, it could smash into the planet and kill everyone in whatever country it hits, plus cause a prolonged winter and starvation.

Serial arsonists

Church arsonists given 2-year state sentences

So after the Three Duhmigos get out of federal prison, they get to go straight to state prison for two years. Maybe they could take notes, tell us which is worse. And there’s still the three other counties they haven’t been prosecuted in yet, plus the thirteen years probation after they get out.