Fun with translating publicists’ statements

Exclusive: Isaiah “Really Angry,” Contemplates Lawsuit - Ausiello Report | TVGuide.com

The currently unemployed Isaiah Washington’s publicist makes a statement:

“If they wanted to fire him,” Bragman asks, “why didn’t they fire him when [the incident] happened? Why did they say, ‘Here’s what you need to do if you want to come back… ‘ and then, when he did everything that was asked of him, he still gets fired. Why do you treat somebody like that?”

Translation: “I wouldn’t have made him apologize to all those homos if we knew he wouldn’t get anything out of it. The whole apology/PSA thing was completely insincere. He really hates gays and so do I.”

Don’t you see, you’re doomed!!!!

The AAFL starting to take shape : Columns : Anderson Independent Mail

Supposedly, the “All-American Football League” is holding tryouts in Orlando soon for a launch in April of 2008. Now, there are certain problems, beginning with most of their teams being in jerkwater hamlets like Knoxville, Fayetteville, and Gainesville. It’s basically an extension of the SEC, plus Michigan, Texas, and for some reason North Carolina. They would apparently use the college teams’ stadiums and everything. An exception is the Alabama franchise, which would play at Legion Field, assuming it doesn’t collapse by then. (”It” may refer to the league, the franchise, or Legion Field. Versatile little word.) I should point out that a ten-game season would run into late June, and late June in Alabama is essentially Hell. Also, putting a franchise in Birmingham is the kiss of death, and if you doubt me I have some Birmingham Stallions paraphenalia you might want to check out.

Actual rain startles everyone

It did just rain some. (So that’s what it’s like.) Unfortunately, the cloud cover is sporadic and it’s still very hot, so I think most of it’s just going to evaporate.

At least something around here is exceptional

Drought intensity upgraded- al.com

Actually, the “exceptional” drought area doesn’t include Tuscaloosa County, which continues to be merely “extreme”. But I don’t recall seeing any rain. Ever. I mean, I know it has rained in the past, but I have no memory of it and no idea any more what rain is like. It’s wet, right?