Oh, you’re funny

Mayor Larry Langford calls for immediate action on dome – al.com

Immediate action? On the Birmingdome? Ha! The whole point of the Birmingdome is that there’s never any action, just lots and lots of talk.

What great news!

Jackson’s mother awarded guardianship of his children – CNN.com

It’s not like her husband has a history of beating his kids and driving them to long-term mental illness or anything.

That’s great!

Coral snake found in wilds of central Alabama – Breaking News from The Birmingham News – al.com

Hooray, a poisonous snake that hasn’t been found here for 40 years is back! And the standard antivenins won’t work on its bite!

She’s very confused

Hoover police seek woman in Inverness bank robbery – Breaking News from The Birmingham News – al.com

She was wearing black framed glasses and an orange Auburn University T-shirt. She was carrying a white canvas bag with red along the bottom and what’s believed to be a University of Alabama “A” on it.

Freak.

This video is dedicated to Mark Sanford

“Hiking the Appalachian Trail” is the new euphemism for politicians having extramarital affairs. As in, “John Edwards was hiking the Appalachian Trail while his wife was dying of cancer.” Or, “Newt Gingrich was hiking the Appalachian Trail while his wife was being treated for cancer, then served her with divorce papers in the hospital.” Or, “Self-hating closeted gay Alabama Attorney General Troy King has been hiking the Appalachian Trail with one of his male staffers for years, and everybody knows it.” Or, “Nobody’s hiked the Appalachian Trail like Bill Clinton.” Though “Flying to Argentina” is good too. Like “John Ensign was flying to Argentina with one of his married staffers, until her husband found out and tried to get hush money.”

Do the Dome!

Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford launches new campaign urging release of city money build domed stadium – al.com

He wants to have a “Let’s Do the Dome” rally. I’m not sure what kind of dance the Dome would be, but I want to see it. The actual dome, of course, will never be built but will always exist in potentia.

So… many… David Caruso jokes…

Fairhope picks retired CSI Miami captain for new police chief – Breaking News from the Press-Register – al.com

Yeah, but then what will you do about the fish?

Free fish offered to get rid of mosquitoes – al.com

The Mobile County Health Department will give minnows to anybody who shows up with an empty container. These minnows will be used for bait are supposed to eat mosquito larvae. Then, presumably, they’ll give away cats to eat the minnows, dogs to chase the cats, horses…

Monkeys can only improve Baldwin County

Monkey sighting reported in Foley – al.com

Or is it a monkey?

The caller’s description of the primate did not have enough detail to identify the species, Lowery said. As such, apes were not ruled out. Nor were prosimians.

No, not a prosimian!

Whoo-hoo!

Scrushy ordered to pay investors $2.9 billion – U.S. business- msnbc.com

Of course, he doesn’t have $2.9 billion. And rather than completely being wiped out, I’m sure he’ll declare bankruptcy and preserve what he can. But he deserves this. He deserves more, but this will have to do.