Category Archives: Idiots

The single dumbest thing I have read in a while.

I’ve been Tweeting about the ESPN book, but this is so astounding I felt I had to quote it in full. I’m not quite done with the book, but it has to be the single dumbest thing in it, one of the dumbest things I have ever read. I give you Keith Clinkscales, Senior VP for “Content Development”, whatever the hell that is, quoted verbatim with my annotations:

I do not believe Stuart Scott was the first African American on ESPN[1], but he certainly was influential because on SportsCenter, early on, he used hip-hop vernacular; he said things on the air that I knew when I heard them that the white producers who had approved it didn’t know what he was talking about[2]. So it was like our own little codified thing. It was almost like, “If he’s cool enough to say that on the air, and no one’s stopping him, then this network is cool enough to watch[3].”

I don’t want to commit hyperbole here[4], but Stuart’s delivery on SportsCenter — his willingness to stick with it despite getting complaints[5], and the producers letting him stick with it — is one of the great cultural moments that African American culture has ever had[6]. It made us relevant in sports[7].

[1]Seriously? This is a VP and he’s apparently only vaguely aware of John Saunders, Robin Roberts, and Mike Tirico, not to mention the numerous commentators.
[2]Not Clinkscales’ fault, but that’s all one sentence.
[3]No African-Americans watched ESPN before Stuart Scott authorized it, apparently.
[4]Too late.
[5]The words “minstrel show” come to mind; consult Jason Whitlock for more.
[6]Seriously, he said that.
[7]Seriously, STUART SCOTT made African-Americans relevant in sports. Step aside, Joe Louis! Get out of here, Jackie Robinson! Eat it, Jesse Owens! You’ve been supplanted, Muhammad Ali, STUART SCOTT is in the house!

Early Returns!

June 1 Primary Election Results – WSFA 12 News Montgomery, AL |.

Early returns! Five percent in, and St. Roy is in fourth place. Right now, the GOP runoff would be Byrne vs. Bentley, but I still expect Tim James to catch Bentley. Sparks has a big early lead on Davis; in a low-turnout election, the machine help that Sparks had could be determinitive. Luther Strange up early on “Troy King”. And Twinkle! is leading in her PSC race, and could avoid a runoff. Only really bad news is that Dale Peterson is out of the runoff for the GOP Ag Commissioner spot, but it’s early. I know he’s got one more great ad in him.

Predictions

Alabama & National Elections News, Results & Politics – al.com.

The weather’s nice today, so I’m guessing high turnout, which probably is good for Artur Davis on the Democratic side. Hope I’m wrong about that. For the Republicans, Bradley Byrne will get the most votes, but probably less than 40 percent; I’m guessing he’ll meet Tim James in the runoff.

Congratulations to the Polk County Police Department!

Woman suffers heart attack during botched drug raid  | ajc.com.

Another triumph in the War on Defenseless Old People Drugs!

“These were considered high-risk warrants,” Dodd said. “These individuals are known drug dealers and they were looking at a lot of time in federal prison, so obviously, when we serve those types of warrants, we usually go in with guns drawn just to protect ourselves.”

Yeah, those 76-year-old women are deadly.

That’s our Roy!

Alabama Gov. Candidate Attacked for Belief in Evolution – Political Hotsheet – CBS News.

So, of course, Bradley Byrne begins the race to the bottom by saying that of course he doesn’t believe in the foundation of modern biology. Then St. Roy will attack him for any suggestion that the Earth is more than 6,014 years old. Then Tim James will say that he believes God actually physically sculpted Adam out of clay.

So awesome

Police in Bessemer intervene in town hall spat between mayor, council president | al.com.

You have to love a town where the mayor and the city council president come so close to an actual fight in public that the police have to take a hand. A fight over video bingo games.

Beware the $5 counterfeiter bandit!

I stepped into a well-known fast food restaurant this morning for a quick breakfast. Little did I know that this fiend has apparently been going around distributing fake $5 bills. Or, apparently, that’s what the cashier thought was going on, as she summoned two managers to tell them that my bill was fake. One of the managers quickly assured her that this was not so. But as everyone knows, counterfeiters love to fake small currency, because they make their money on volume.

Sheesh.

St. Roy of the Teabags

Trussville Tax Day Tea Party draws about 350 people | al.com.

Yes, St. Roy himself addressed the local teabaggers. A real meeting of the minds, there. Whoever the speaker is, the teabag brigade gets to hear rhetoric that is almost, but not quite, calling for the violent overthrow of the elected government of the United States of America, and Roy did not disappoint, breaking out the Thomas Paine and the Patrick Henry and comparing the present environment to the American Revolution. Because, well, he’s an idiot and so are the teabaggers.

Says it all, really

Black candidate says no to black Alabama groups | TuscaloosaNews.com.

Artur Davis is now officially betting that he can win the Democratic nomination for Governor on the strength of the votes of white Republicans. Good luck with that one, Artie.

This week in unfortunate phrasing

UAH President Williams: ‘We’re being reborn’ | al.com.

“We have survived our winter of discontent,” Williams said.

Well, most of you have.