Daily Archives: August 9, 2002

Saddam Hussein Violating Foodstuffs of Mass Destru…

Saddam Hussein Violating Foodstuffs of Mass Destruction Treaty

The Poor Man has the terrible details:

First synthesized in May of 2002, ingestion of Pepsi Blue causes a stinging or burning sensation in the mouth and throat, followed by extreme nausea and vomiting. Victims often report feeling as though they were being choked with a rancid blueberry muffin baked with Drano. The long-term health effects of exposure to Pepsi Blue are not known.

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Bankrupt Telecom Sold for $250M Global Crossing…

Bankrupt Telecom Sold for $250M

Global Crossing came cheap for these guys. Not so much for the shareholders and employees.

AP Wire | 08/09/2002 | Woman unhurt after attack b…

AP Wire | 08/09/2002 | Woman unhurt after attack by rabid bat

What is going on with the wildlife all of the sudden? Rabid Bat Attacks?

Anyone bitten by a bat is encouraged to wash the infected area and get medical attention immediately. If possible, the bat should be captured and sent to a lab for testing.

Louisiana fights West Nile, own culture An "Oh,…

Louisiana fights West Nile, own culture

An “Oh, Those Wacky Louisianans!” story from the Trib, combined with West Nile scare tactics. It’s the two newspaper cliches that go great together!

I show you this map for two reasons. One is that this is from the Orlando Sentinel, meaning that the Chicago Tribune website is too sorry to not hijack other papers’ graphics. Two, look at the southern states with no West Nile. You have Maryland, home of the Dreaded Chinese Snakehead Walking Fish, and South Carolina, which shares a lake where other DCSWF were reportedly found. The answer is clear: Snakeheads Prevent West Nile! I mean, it’s not West Yangtze Virus, is it?

Pa. researcher bringing an Arctic fossil to light …

Pa. researcher bringing an Arctic fossil to light

This guy might have made short work of the Dreaded Chinese Snakehead Walking Fish, or even the Giant Leaping Attack Sturgeon. Six feet long, with knifelike teeth it used to crunch through bony armor.

Man dies in first confirmed Canadian case of human…

Man dies in first confirmed Canadian case of human form of “mad cow” disease

The Canadian health authorities swear he got it in Britain. Me, I never trusted that funny bacon.

I liked Jagged Edge. So did Joe Eszterhas, appare…

I liked Jagged Edge. So did Joe Eszterhas, apparently, since he rewrote it as Music Box a couple of years later. Anyway, Laurence reports that Eszterhas has cancer; really, he had it coming.