Daily Archives: August 20, 2002

Hubbard Winners Named Dylan Otto Krider (what a…

Hubbard Winners Named

Dylan Otto Krider (what a name!) of Houston won the Grand Prize at the L. Ron Hubbard Awards for Writers of the Future, thereby bringing a lifetime of shame upon his family and bitter attacks from cultists upon me for mocking the God of Scientology.

Ananova – Emergency landing after naked passenger …

Ananova – Emergency landing after naked passenger tries to force way into cockpit

Worse, they had to land in B—–m.

On the one hand, why he could force an emergency landing isn’t clear to me. What, he had a concealed weapon? On the other hand, I’d probably do what the man said too, as long as he promised to conceal his weapon, if you get my drift.

The Nando Times: Belgians outraged by Pygmy exhibi…

The Nando Times: Belgians outraged by Pygmy exhibition

First, there’s a “Belgians Are Short” joke, or a “Their Country Is Small/Weak” joke, here somewhere, but I can’t conjure with it. Sorry.

Second, isn’t this just the EU at its most enlightened? A group of Pygmies came to B—–m (hey, this isn’t a Serious Screenplay) and put on an exhibition of Pygmy culture to raise money for wells, schools and hospitals for their home in Cameroon. And the Belgians stayed away in droves because it offended their tender sensibility. (Oh, and it reminded them of the unspeakable horrors perpetrated by Belgians in Africa.)

So the Pygmies are going back to Cameroon. And they aren’t likely to bring much back with them. But at least they weren’t exploited.

I don’t know enough about this to say if it really was offensive. Maybe it was. But it really seems to me that the Belgians were more afraid they, the Belgians, would be offended than worrying about actually doing something to help impoverished people.

The Nando Times: Plot to destroy basilica thwarted…

The Nando Times: Plot to destroy basilica thwarted, Italian police say

What, again? This is the church with the fresco depicting Mohammed in Hell, which was a target earlier this year. You have to hand it to al-Q, once they find a target, they stick with it until it’s gone.

(Oh, man, that was a joke, but now I’m thinking about the Pentagon. I hope the military knows this, though I can’t imagine anything al-Q could come up with that would destroy the Pentagon.)

Anyway, here’s this six-hundred-year-old fresco which Muslims (even non-terrorist Muslims) want destroyed because it offends them. I can’t help but think of the fate of so many churches in Britain and Germany, their stained glass and other decorations destroyed in the name of the Reformation — not the worst crime committed (by either side) in those conflicts, but one that angers me nonetheless.

Muslims don’t get off either. I’m still upset about Hagia Sophia.

The Nando Times: Palestinian terrorist Abu Nidal c…

The Nando Times: Palestinian terrorist Abu Nidal committed suicide, Iraq confirms

And if you can’t believe Saddam, who can you believe?

“Yes, I confirm his suicide and an official will give you full details on Wednesday,” [Tariq] Aziz said.

I can see it now… “He shot himself five times, then pushed himself out of a car and rolled himself into a ditch by the side of a road. He then wrote TRAITOR all over his chest with his own blood, and finally burned down his own house with all of his possessions inside.”

Pryor sees possible flurry of inmate executions …

Pryor sees possible flurry of inmate executions

Running for re-election? Well, time to step up the executions! We now have two, count ’em, two ways to kill — electrocution and now, for the first time, lethal injection!

The jury in Johnson’s trial voted 9-3 for life imprisonment without parole. Circuit Judge Richard Hundley rejected the jury’s recommendation and imposed the death penalty. Johnson was found guilty of gunning down Cantrell at Cantrell’s home after he and an accomplice posed as customers wanting to do after hours business.

Well, the Supreme Court has said that juries and not judges have to make death penalty decisions. But screw that! This is Alabama, we never pay any attention to the Supreme Court anyway! What, are you going to nationalize the National Guard to keep us from frying this guy?

HS Foreign 20.8.2002 – International study: Europe…

HS Foreign 20.8.2002 – International study: Europe’s biggest climate change in the Baltic Sea region

In August tens of thousands of fish have died of asphyxiation in Lake Peipsi, which is one of Europe’s largest lakes. Researchers blame it on the warmer climate.

But There’s No Such Thing As Global Warming, right?