Just Plain Weird Search Requests Google Search:…

Just Plain Weird Search Requests

Google Search: cobb county junkyard homepage

Jacko To Play Poe? Uh… Okay. I suppose Mich…

Jacko To Play Poe?

Uh… Okay. I suppose Michael Jackson is strange enough to play Edgar Allan Poe. Pale enough, too, when it comes down to it.

Fun With NPR Nothing on the radio on the way ho…

Fun With NPR

Nothing on the radio on the way home, and my CD player doesn’t work in the heat for some reason. So I turn on All Things Considered (I know, I know) and the NPR guy is interviewing some sort of Saudi flack. I couldn’t listen for long, but there was this exchange (paraphrased because what are you expecting, notes?):

NPR GUY: Some critics say that Saudi Arabia, and Egypt too, aren’t democratic and are afraid of freedom in Iraq, which would destabilize the region.

SAUDI FLACK: That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Saudi Arabia has been ruled by, has had the same government for 217 [possibly 270 — MT] years. We are not concerned about that. But as an ally, a friend, we are advising the United States.

None of that’s made up. I was going to point out the blatant lies, but it’s all blatant lies. And how in the world can he justify saying the Sauds have ruled Arabia that long? 100 years ago they were a pack of nomads.

First, the Giant Leaping Attack Sturgeon epidemic …

First, the Giant Leaping Attack Sturgeon epidemic sprung up in the Eastern Gulf of Mexico. Now they’ve found a freshwater ally in the Big Muddy:

A Huge, Boat-Hurdling Carp Is No Mississippi Fish Story

I’d heard of the imported carp possibly getting into the Great Lakes, to which they’re well-suited, and causing problems. But now they’ve taken to jumping into boats and hitting people in the face.

Now a more recent arrival, the black carp, is stirring alarm from New Orleans to Ontario. Also known as the snail carp and the Chinese roach, the black carp is a bottom-sucking ogre that can grow five feet long and up to 150 pounds. It gorges on mollusks — including parasite-infested ram’s horn snails, which can populate ponds and infect the catfish with wormy yellow grubs. Teeth in the back of its throat grind up its prey like garbage disposals.

If this one escapes and takes to leaping into boats, we’re all in trouble.

(Thanks to the Linkmeister.)

Ky. Plant Cited for Bathroom Policy Christ. Th…

Ky. Plant Cited for Bathroom Policy

Christ. The Jim Beam distillery in Clermont instituted a bathroom policy. Workers were limited to four breaks per eight and a half hour shift. And only one of those could be unscheduled. “Just trying to keep our productivity up!” They have workers urinating on themselves, wearing Depends, and faking illnesses to go home. That’s just great for productivity, I’m sure!

I have to ask if it’s really wise to restrict workers’ bathroom privileges in a bourbon distillery. You’re just asking for someone to relieve himself in the product. My suggestion is to not drink anything from there until this is straightened out.

Powder Found in Mail at Gore Office It appears …

Powder Found in Mail at Gore Office

It appears that the Anthrax Terrorist knows who really won.

Disturbing American Search Requests Google Sear…

Disturbing American Search Requests

Google Search: manilow airport

Oh, man, the terrorists have their worst weapon yet!

Disturbing German Search Requests Google-Suche:…

Disturbing German Search Requests

Google-Suche: tupperware scheisse

I don’t want to know.

SatireWire | SATIREWIRE HAS LANDED Aw, hell. (…

SatireWire | SATIREWIRE HAS LANDED

Aw, hell. (Via Laurence Simon.)

CNN.com – Sticky gecko toes have little hairs to t…

CNN.com – Sticky gecko toes have little hairs to thank – August 27, 2002

Apparently geckos have little hairs on their hands. Fill in your own joke. I’m trying to figure out how a reptile has hair.