Not literally (unfortunately)

Scrushy ‘radioactive’ after trial

I really don’t think anyone was looking to go into business with Dickey S. anyway. I really do think he should start a prison ministry, try the Charles Colson route. Alternatively, he should convert to Islam and change his name to Rashid al-Schrush.

You learn something new every day:

Scrushy became an ordained minister. He is pastor of a congregation that meets at his son-in-law’s television studio in Hoover and helped found Kingdom Builders International, which aims to build churches and feed and clothe children in Africa. He often makes pleas on “Viewpoint” for donations to the foreign ministry.

I know, Matthew 18:20, but I really don’t think He was talking about TV studios.

The state’s largest newspaper, folks

Siegelman, Scrushy guilty of bribery

They fixed it now, but for a while they had “Siegleman” convicted of bribery. The Birmingham News misspelled the name of a former governor. Sigh.

Butting in

Scrushy blasts verdict

Of course he does. What else is he going to say? But I have to share this:

“This is the worst miscarriage of justice since General Sherman burned Atlanta,” his attorney, Terry Butts, said angrily following the verdict.

Really? The worst miscarriage of justice in 141 years? Not to mention that Atlanta clearly had it coming.

Yes, but which one?

Experts see prison for Siegelman, Scrushy

I was really hoping for Talladega, but more likely they’ll go to a minimum-security prison camp — either one adjacent to the Talladega prison or one at Maxwell Air Force Base in Montgomery, I’d guess the latter. But I’d really like to see them go to Talladega. The term will probably be four to eight years.

Scrushelman conviction roundup

al.com: NewsFlash – List of counts and verdict in Siegelman trial

Okay, no RICO conviction, and Siegelman was actually acquitted on most of the charges. (He will spin this as vindication.) I count seven convictions, 25 acquittals. Six of the convictions were on HealthSouth/Scrushy related charges; the other had to do with the Siegelhog. Unimportant people Hamrick and Roberts were acquitted of all charges. (Hamrick thanked the jury.)

The Scrush, meanwhile, was convicted of all charges — six of them. I guess they’re the mirror of what Siegelman was convicted of.

al.com: NewsFlash – Convicted in bribe scheme, Scrushy facing more HealthSouth trials

And we’re not done yet! Civil trials in Birmingham coming up. I hope they don’t wind up garnishing his cigarettes. I really hope that when he testifies (he can’t duck it in a civil trial) they bring him into the courtroom in leg irons. One of the lawyers representing shareholders is Doug Jones, who was also at one time a member of the Siegelman legal team. It’s a fairly small legal community. The Scrush was modest as ever in speaking about his conviction:

Speaking with reporters outside court, Scrushy said he was “very hurt” by the conviction.

“It’s a sad day in this country,” he said. “We intend to continue the legal process until we’re fully vindicated and cleared on all these charges. We believe that our day will come.”

The whole country is saddened, Dick. Really it is.

Guilty! Guilty, Guilty, Guilty!

al.com: NewsFlash – Former Ala. governor, ex-HealthSouth CEO convicted of corruption

See you in jail, Don and Dick! I wonder if they’re going to share a cell. I wonder if Dick will start a prison ministry. More later.

I don’t really have anything to say

Hooters boat involved in chase, arrests

This is just too good of a story to not share.

A 38-foot fishing boat emblazoned with the Hooters restaurant logo is back in the hands of its North Carolina owner after a highway chase that led to the arrest of a Mobile-area hunter and sport fisherman, according to the Mobile County Sheriff’s Office.

Yes, a highway chase. It was on a trailer, but you have to lead with the Hooters Boat anyway.

It could be worse

State mistakenly moves primaries to February 2008 – Tuscaloosa

They could have moved them to the wrong year, I guess. Anyway, intending only to move the presidential primaries to February, the legislature accidentally moved all the primaries to February. And they left the runoff day in June, which would mean a five-month runoff campaign. Also, the day they chose is Mardi Gras, which is a holiday in Mobile and Baldwin counties.

Senatoring ain’t easy

CNN.com – Senator seeks tax on pimps, prostitutes – Jun 28, 2006

Sheesh. Whatever happened to federalism? I guess it doesn’t count when sex is involved.

Perpetrator charged with murder, second-degree irony

Man killed blocks from site of anti-crime rally

I joke, of course. They didn’t catch the guy.