The Hail Lucy

Baxley outlines priorities as governor

She’s way down in the polls and has nothing to lose, so she’s suggesting something both daring and useful, a raise in the minimum wage. Alabama doesn’t have a state minimum and uses the federal wage of $5.15 an hour; she would raise it to $6.15. Riley will say that this makes her a hippie liberal commie Hillary lover.

Rhesus ipsa loquitur

CNN.com – Senator denies remark was racist – Aug 16, 2006

George, you called an Indian-American a name that apparently refers to monkeys. It is absolutely impossible for that not to be construed as racist; that your people tried to invent an excuse claiming that you were referring to a nonexistent mohawk haircut indicates that they know this. Either you are a bigot, or you are too stupid to even serve in the Senate. Probably both.

This president, I can see

Riley opposes giving Guard power to president

Actually, Riley could have just been going along with his buddies. All the governors signed a letter saying that the President shouldn’t have the power to nationalize the National Guard in an emergency without permission from the governor (or fill-in governor, if the governor is incapacitated, I guess).

This morning, all the nation’s governors were rounded up and put in Gitmo.

Dogs in school

Contract would put drug-sniffing dog in Jeffco schools

Sure, I bring a dog to school, I get sent home and my parents have to come in, but the cops can bring a dog to school, no problem.

Let’s not talk about the ACT

44 states outscore Alabama on ACT

That makes us look dumb. Let’s talk SAT! We always do well in that (because only those who are hoping for scholarships take it).