Sprinkle on your spaghetti

Deadly $2 heroin targets teens – CNN.com

“Cheese heroin”? Give me a break. Let’s see, new drug menace or overblown paranoia? My guess is paranoia.

[Joke withheld for taste]

Pentagon planned ‘gay bomb’

Here’s what I don’t get… Wouldn’t the gay bomb be a tactical disadvantage for us? I mean, who would be immune to its effects? Soldiers who are already gay! And who is kicking gay soldiers out of the military? Us!

If prostitution is a crime, only criminals will have prostitutes

Northport council addresses fireworks, prostitution | TideSports.com

Or something like that. Prostitution is now “completely illegal” in Northport.

However, you can still buy fireworks. Because of the drought, there is a statewide ban except for displays over water, but the fireworks stand owners lobbied the city council to let them stay open. I’m sure nobody will set off fireworks except over water this year, even though the police say they can’t enforce the ban. Fireworks people are noted for their devotion to law and order.

Too hungry to moo

Drought-stricken fields endanger cattle industry- al.com

As with most of the bad things in life, it’s Bush’s fault that the Alabama cattle industry is in trouble:

Hauling hay or grain in from other states has been an option during past droughts. Not this time. High fuel and corn prices make it too costly.

So a lot of cattle are getting sold off — a 63 percent increase over last year.