Monthly Archives: January 2008

Gaston’s back at it

Metro briefs-

I suppose he forgot his insulin again…

Brighton police had received several calls about someone in the Holiday Mobile Home Park on Jan. 9, Chief Anthony Farley said. Police arrived at the park, in the 4300 block of Bessemer Superhighway, about 10 p.m. and found Randle underneath a resident’s car. It appeared that he was trying to disconnect the brake lines of the vehicle, Det. Sylvester Benson said.

Randle hid for 35-45 minutes, Benson said, then emerged after police pretended to leave. Randle attempted to drive away, Benson said, but was apprehended. He was taken to jail and after 24 hours posted $500 bond, Benson said.

So I was wondering why he keeps getting caught in Brighton, not in Lipscomb where he supposedly lives and where he’s a city councilman. Then I figure that he’s probably getting caught in Lipscomb all the time but it’s hushed up… Anyway, this was one block away from the last place he got caught in Brighton. I guess that last time he was trying to get to this trailer park when he got disoriented.

So much for Social Security!

Mad Science: Geneticists Discover a Way to Extend Lifespans to 800 Years

Really? I hadn’t noticed.

Metro Birmingham’s transit system needs newer, more efficient buses-

Look, the current Birmingham bus fleet was starting to look decrepit when I last rode the bus — ten years ago. They’re junk. But there’s little political will for replacing them, as I’ve pointed out before, because while buses are efficient in a metropolitan area like Birmingham they’re not cool. Streetcars are cool, and light rail, but not buses. But apparently they’re finally getting around to replacing the buses, and are looking at natural gas vehicles, which are at least a little cool. And the fuel’s half the price, per gallon.

Old Case

Shelby County Sheriff’s Office sets up cold case unit with retired investigators – Breaking News from The Birmingham News –

The unit is comprised of five retirees who all live in Shelby County and “still feel they have a responsibility to serve the public,” the Sheriff’s Office said in a news release.

Seriously, this has got to be a TV series. It’s right in CBS’ wheelhouse, if the writers ever come back to work.

What country is this?

Crowd at public forum in Hoover tells state panel to crack down on illegal immigration – Breaking News from The Birmingham News –

Apparently Hoover has a “Joint Interim Patriotic Immigration Commission”. Or JIPIC, I suppose. Anyway, listen to these people:

Steve Sills of Shelby County said an illegal immigrant from Honduras crashed into his car last year and caused back injuries that forced him to miss months of work.

Because nobody ever got hit by a car driven by a citizen or legal non-citizen, I suppose.

Jane Barton of Jefferson County complained about the difficulties of dealing with non-English-speaking service workers in restaurants and stores and about loud Mexican music blaring from home construction sites.

I almost suspect that “Birmingham News Staff” is having fun by finding people with really petty complaints to embarrass JIPIC. Those damned Mexicans and their salsa music! We’ll see in the paper story in the morning.

UPDATE: Apparently, JIPIC is a statewide thing that was just visiting Hoover.

Bettye Fine Collins using taxpayer money to support right-wing shills

Jefferson County Commission votes to give Eagle Forum of Alabama money to host forum-

Is this even legal? I mean, giving money to those paleoconservative hacks to say that Mexicans are evil and that There’s No Such Thing As Global Warming™? You can do that?

Those darned black people get all the breaks!

In the 2008 race, it’s better to be black. – By Anne Applebaum – Slate Magazine

I, for one, want to know when a white guy will get a chance to be president. Don’t you?

Miracle of the wireless routers

Dozens of Birmingham pastors agree to set up wireless hot spots-

A bunch of churches are putting up WiFi hubs as part of BMLL’s plan to saturate the city.

Langford said the routers will be filtered and designed to block obscene content. While concerns about security will be addressed, Langford said the most pressing need is providing service to the city’s students.

1. I guess that Larry and I have different interpretations of what service the city’s students want.

2. I also guess this site will not be available on Birmingham WiFi.

Fish win, industry loses, yay!

Sturgeon stays on protected list-

A group of “industry” lawyers (that is, people who think it would be dandy if we could just strip-mine the whole world, except for golf courses) was basically trying to get the Endangered Species Act overturned by the Supreme Court. The Alabama sturgeon is certainly endangered — in that there appears to be only one left — but the corporate creeps say that because there’s no “economic” use of the sturgeon, there only being one left, Congress shouldn’t have the ability to protect it. The Court refused to hear the case.

This is not going to end well

2 charged in spate of Alabama church arsons dabbled in Satanism, sheriff says-

Never does, of course, but I smell brimstone… and it isn’t from Satanists. It’s from the people who are going to go nuts over these pathetic losers — who may or may not be guilty — and turn this into a more or less literal witch-hunt.