Category Archives: Crazy Larry’s House of Wacky Schemes

Debit where it’s due

Birmingham to close some libraries, rec centers | Second Front.

This is obviously close to my heart as a librarian and (before that) a library rat in the Jefferson County libraries. But for goodness sake, William Bell is trying to be the grownup here. This is the fault of Crazy Larry with his insane spending spree and the City Council which enabled it. The council president is still doing it — he wants to “raise more revenue”. In other words, raise taxes. During a very mild recovery from a very deep recession in a city that’s been economically declining for my entire life. I am not at all happy about the (putatively temporary) library closings, but there’s little choice in the matter here.

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Because he’s 64

Ex-Birmingham mayor Larry Langford tells UA student newspaper he expects to die in prison | al.com.

And thinks 15 years is a life sentence — though he most certainly won’t serve that long. I was thinking he was expecting to get shanked.

But is it far enough?

Larry Langford’s prison assignment about 500 miles from Birmingham | al.com.

They’re sending him to Ashland, Kentucky. That’s just about as isolated as you can be in the eastern US. Of course, we’re dealing with a thoroughly dangerous man here… Actually, it’s minimum security.

Please, just for comedy’s sake

Lawyer for Larry Langford asks federal judge to leave Langford free as he appeals conviction | al.com.

Though I have to admit, just the appeals process looks to be a hoot and a half.

For example, Rasmussen said evidence of Langford’s generosity should have been admitted at trial. Coogler limited the testimony of defense witness Ocie Oden, who wanted to testify about gifts — clothing and cash for his church — that he received from Langford. He did tell the jury about one suit Langford gave him because he remembered the name brand of the suit, Oxxford.

Coogler did not allow testimony about other suits because Oden could not remember what store they came from. Langford’s generosity had nothing to do with the charges lodged against him, prosecutors contend.

15 years

Updated: Langford ordered to begin serving his sentence April 5 | al.com.

I don’t know how much time that actually comes out to, but the rule of thumb is usually one actual year = three “sentenced to” years. His lawyer is hoping to keep him out on appeal for awhile.

He’s just that lucky!

Larry Langford tax returns show 555 jackpots hit playing electronic bingo | al.com.

One day, he hit 36 jackpots, worth $96,093. Another time, he hit 19, worth $63,637. Over three years, he won more than $1.5 million. He says he doesn’t remember winning multiple jackpots on any one day. I would think that would stick in your mind.

You can’t really replace Crazy Larry

Patrick Cooper, William Bell in runoff for Birmingham mayor | Birmingham Elections – al.com.

But his term must be filled. Patrick Cooper, Langford’s main rival for the election two years ago, had 40.1 percent of the vote, meaning that William Bell, who has been running for Mayor for as long as I can remember, has to build on to his 25.1 percent with other anti-Cooper forces. That may be difficult; Carole Smitherman, the interim mayor who finished third with 18.8 percent, was angered by calls made by FBMLL in support of Bell. Usually, endorsements by a known felon hurt your chances, but I guess not always. The other main candidate was Emory Anthony, who’s been running even longer than Bell, with 12.4 percent. The Dead Guy finished last with thirteen votes.