Category Archives: Great Moments in Headline Writing


Bus carrying University of Albama band members hits car in Atlanta | | The Tuscaloosa News | Tuscaloosa, AL

After the lawsuit, the band will have to change its name to the $600,000 Band.

We’ll get the money from somewhere!

Birmingham, Alabama City Council reverses course, approves immediate funding of $7.5 million Rickwood Field, museum project –

Anyhoo, this is a Birmingham News story on the Birmingham News site. For Googling reasons, presumably, they say “Birmingham, Alabama” in the headline of this and another story…

Oh, I’m all for Conferdate

Monday is Conferdate holiday for Alabama – – Huntsville, Alabama – News Weather, Sports |

Unfortunately, it’s Confederate Memorial Day, in which we honor all those who gave their lives for the right to own people. Hooray!

McCain campaign tied to Scrushy!

HealthSouth recovers $133 million in suit against investment vbank [sic] UBS –

So, UBS, which helped Richard Scrushy in his massive fraud against the shareholders of HealthSouth and the people of the United States of America, has to pay $100 million and forgive $33 million in “debt”. UBS’ vice chairman is Phil Gramm, John McCain’s top economics man. Under the McCain Rules, this means that Gramm is guilty by association. When will John McCain condemn Phil Gramm for his fraud against HealthSouth shareholders?

If only Gore and Kerry had thought of that

Experts say Obama wins by not losing | | The Tuscaloosa News | Tuscaloosa, AL

Not losing: a revolutionary new Democratic strategy.

Your nonpartisan media, ladies and gentlemen!

Supreme Court hopefuls feud over a Democrat ad that implies candidate Greg Shaw is accepting money from oil companies –

That’s “Democratic” ad. Jeez, they’re not even trying to hide it.

Does they?

Insurers helps make Jeffco bond payment –

Nice tense agreement there, News.

No they weren’t

Five bodies found in Birmingham apartment | | The Tuscaloosa News | Tuscaloosa, AL

Look, Birmingham has enough problems without the T-News piling five bodies on it. This crime took place in Shelby County, and that’s where the bodies were found. And this isn’t a case of the T-News picking up a wire service headline along with the story. The AP headline has “Alabama apartment”. Nor is this just “some online intern” as I’ve seen T-News personnel use as a defense in the past. The headline appears on the front page of the dead-tree edition.

The newspeople here in Tuscaloosa, just to slime Birmingham, put “Birmingham” in the headline rather than “Inverness” as in the lede. If things that happened in Shelby County are “Birmingham”, then you might as well include Tuscaloosa County as well — both border Jefferson and both are part of the Birmingham media market.

Dan Quayle now writing for Tuscaloosa News

Tomatoe scare helps local business |

Ohe noe!

Some people put, commas in sentences seemingly, randomly

New Alabama law that puts some new mothers in jail, causing controversy-

So, the legislature put in a law protecting fetuses precious unborn babies from being exposed to meth lab fumes. And DAs, or at least the DAs in southeast Alabama, are using this law to put new mothers in jail if they test positive for drugs at birth. I am not sure what exactly happened to doctor-patient confidentiality. Maybe they don’t have that in the Wiregrass. Also, apparently the reach of the Supreme Court of the United States doesn’t make it there, because SCOTUS already ruled that hospitals can’t turn over testing records to prosecutors.

Surprisingly, there is no word from “Troy King” in this story, but I’ll bet he thinks prosecuting new mothers is great. I’m surprised he isn’t prosecuting the babies. I mean, they have drugs in their systems too.