Bush Admin. Wants Manatee Plan Nixed Of course …

Bush Admin. Wants Manatee Plan Nixed

Of course it does. If we don’t drive our powerboats at high speed through the habitats of an endangered species, the terrorists win.

Oh, they’re talking about how it will take too long because of the bureaucracy and they’ll never beat the deadline. But in the end, it’s because the Administration is dragging its feet, once again, on protected species, because it’s fundamentally opposed to the the Endangered Species Act. If they could save money while saving manatees, the Administration would spend money to avoid protecting them.

Sumerian Dictionary to Decipher Ancient Texts I…

Sumerian Dictionary to Decipher Ancient Texts

It is a fine example of the kind of nerd that I am that I think this is really neat.

Suicide bombers could spread hepatitis Suicide …

Suicide bombers could spread hepatitis

Suicide bombing — the terror campaign that keeps on terrorizing!

Of course, if you have a potentially deadly disease, and you’re an enormous asshole, why not try to spread the disease while you’re killing women and children?

Armstrong Closes In on Victory Someone named "M…

Armstrong Closes In on Victory

Someone named “Michael Boogerd” won the stage. Boogerd?!?

Bengals Face Question: Who Is QB Also, "What ha…

Bengals Face Question: Who Is QB

Also, “What have we done to deserve playing for the Bengals?”

Bank Stocks Ignite Sharp Rally; Nasdaq Up 5%, S.&….

Bank Stocks Ignite Sharp Rally; Nasdaq Up 5%, S.&.P 500 Up 5.7%

They say it’s because of strength in bank stocks and because of evidence — a House/Senate agreement in particular — the government is actually doing something about the finance scandals. I say it’s because the President finally kept his big yap shut.

Annan Puts Burden of More Arms Talks on Iraq Fo…

Annan Puts Burden of More Arms Talks on Iraq

For those of you who think that the UN is reflexively anti-American and pro-Arab… Well, we’re against the talks, but this is hardly sucking up to Saddam.

Great Moments in Headline Writing I actually li…

Great Moments in Headline Writing

I actually like this one.

State looks for ways to cover its assets

Insurance premiums are going up. Because of terrorists. I somehow doubt that the State of Alabama is high on al-Qaeda’s hit list, unless they’re working in alphabetical order in English.

Feds reveal new plan to fix Everglades Somehow,…

Feds reveal new plan to fix Everglades

Somehow, I’m guessing it involves propping up Jeb Bush’s re-election campaign. I don’t know how I know that, but I do.

Interior Secretary Gale Norton issued a statement praising the proposal, saying Interior would play a ”strong leadership role.”

They’re going to sell the Everglades to ranchers for five cents an acre?

Endangered condors scheduled to be released in Mex…

Endangered condors scheduled to be released in Mexico

Sometimes, an animal makes it back. I don’t know if the California Condor will ultimately make it all the way, but it’s come a long way from my childhood, when it was down to a few individuals and seemed destined for quick extinction. There are wild populations growing in California and Arizona now, and hopefully another part of its range is about to see a comeback.