Crazy people to stay in Tuscaloosa where they belong

Board votes to recommend rebuilding Bryce hospital in Tuscaloosa | Breaking News from The Birmingham News – al.com.

Birmingham was trying to get the state to move the insane asylum mental health facility to the empty Carraway Hospital there, but instead they’re going to build a whole new facility here in Tuscaloosa. The University gets the old place, which is going to be lots of fun when they start stashing freshmen there.

The more things change

“In the South it is supposed that more government than is expedient is desired by the North. In the North, it is believed, that the prejudices of the South are incompatible with the necessary degree of Government and with the attainment of the essential ends of National Union.”

— Alexander Hamilton, 1792

“Object to this!”

Jefferson County judge arms herself amid safety fears | Stories from The Birmingham News – al.com.

Okay, this really isn’t that funny — she runs the domestic relations court, where there are a lot of crazy people, and is worried about cutbacks in the sheriff’s department. Still, she’s packing heat, which is at least a little funny.

Asshole

Parker Griffth switching to GOP | Breaking News from The Birmingham News – al.com.

So, you take our money, get yourself elected, then switch. Asshole.

Only the good die young

Evangelist Oral Roberts Dead At 91 | TPM News Pages.

Why Alabama didn’t win a Heisman until last night

Heisman: Emotional evening for newest Heisman member – ESPN.

1. Timing. Alabama has had two great eras. Everyone knows about the Bryant era, but the first was under Wallace Wade (1923-1930) and Frank Thomas (1931-1946). The Heisman wasn’t given out until 1935, halfway through the period. Wade and Thomas had several great players from 1923-1934. If the first Heisman had been given out one year earlier, there is every chance that the first winner would have been Don Hutson, who pretty clearly was the best player in college football in 1934.

2. Defense. Most of Alabama’s best players have been defensive players. Only one defensive player has ever won the Heisman, and he was a defensive back who played some offense and returned kicks. Players like Lee Roy Jordan and Derrick Thomas could easily have been the “most outstanding college football player”.

3. Team mentality. Coach Bryant in particular played a lot of players, and very rarely rode one quarterback even before he installed the wishbone. If you watch footage of some of his sixties teams, he’s playing three or four quarterbacks when his starter is someone like Joe Namath or Ken Stabler. It’s weird, actually. But it worked.

4. The wishbone. Coach Bryant’s best teams, the dominant seventies era squads, ran the wishbone. The way that system works, no running back is going to get more than at most forty percent of the team’s carries. If a wishbone player is going to win the Heisman, it’s probably going to be a quarterback, but as noted, he was using three or four quarterbacks and none put up huge running totals.

5. Namath. Joe would have won the Heisman his senior year, in my opinion, except that he had knee problems which hurt his mobility and brain problems that caused Bryant to keep him in a rotation system rather than riding a once-in-a-lifetime talent. Bama won the national championship that year, but Namath only attempted 100 passes.

6. Dumb luck. Just one of those things.

The faculty Senate is lame

University of Alabama faculty senate unhappy class days will be lost for football championship game | Breaking News from The Birmingham News – al.com.

The actual faculty members I’ve talked to all seem excited. The thing is that the faculty senate is made up of the tightest sticks in the University and they have no sense of joy.

You don’t get what you pay for

Alabama’s Troy King now nation’s highest paid attorney general | Breaking News from The Birmingham News – al.com.

So, he sucks at his job, he’s a bloodthirsty lunatic, and he makes $168,000 a year because of a rule that was passed, as “Troy”‘s spokesman says, when he was eight months old.

Don’t think of it as more lawyers

Alabama gets third accredited law school | Breaking News from The Birmingham News – al.com.

Think of it as slightly better lawyers. Well, that’s not all that great, but they were already putting out product, it’s just that now it’s accredited product.

You can’t really replace Crazy Larry

Patrick Cooper, William Bell in runoff for Birmingham mayor | Birmingham Elections – al.com.

But his term must be filled. Patrick Cooper, Langford’s main rival for the election two years ago, had 40.1 percent of the vote, meaning that William Bell, who has been running for Mayor for as long as I can remember, has to build on to his 25.1 percent with other anti-Cooper forces. That may be difficult; Carole Smitherman, the interim mayor who finished third with 18.8 percent, was angered by calls made by FBMLL in support of Bell. Usually, endorsements by a known felon hurt your chances, but I guess not always. The other main candidate was Emory Anthony, who’s been running even longer than Bell, with 12.4 percent. The Dead Guy finished last with thirteen votes.