Yeah, that makes lots of sense

State Supreme Court upholds appointment of Bowman to Jeffco Commission but orders fall election – Breaking News from The Birmingham News – al.com

Jefferson County already had an election, but Bob Riley doesn’t like elections and appointed a guy instead. And now they want another election, which will then get challenged by at least Riley and possibly Bell if he loses it and then the US Supreme Court will vote to do whatever benefits the Republicans.

BMLL to hold his breath until he turns blue

Birmingham City Council set to vote on budget- al.com

Crazy Larry now says that he won’t implement any new programs funded with money “taken” from his pet scholarship and streetcar projects. Now, money is fungible, so you can’t really say what money was “taken” from those programs. Moreover, it’s a positively Bushian move to refuse to do what the legislative body has approved.

Gotta get those scores up!

Seminar seeks to raise Alabama paramedic exam scores- al.com

Isn’t it funny? You don’t have to worry about actually teaching people to do better at their jobs. But you do have to worry about how they do on exams. It’s one thing when it’s schoolkids — but paramedics? I don’t particularly care how the guy trying to keep me alive did on the multiple-choice test.

Boy, there’s a shocker

King criticizes death penalty ban in child rape- al.com

Even though, um, Alabama didn’t have a law making the death penalty applicable in such cases. It’s Troy, anything that results in fewer executions anywhere will outrage him. If China started saying they’d stop killing people for supporting greater freedoms, Troy would be outraged.

Eight percent!

CDC: About 8 percent of Americans have diabetes | TuscaloosaNews.com | The Tuscaloosa News | Tuscaloosa, AL

That’s a pretty significant chunk of the population — and the electorate. I want pandering! What are Obama’s and McCain’s stances on what’s important to the diabetic voter? I want glucose subsidies! Where is the research on truly painless blood sugar testing?

He thinks they’re great!

Mayor won’t ban Tasers- al.com

The problem with tasers is that because they are supposedly nonlethal, nobody hesitates to use them. And use them and use them. And sometimes, people die because the cops used a taser on them. That’s not to say that they’re not safer than other methods, and it’s not to say that they are.

Oh, I beg to differ

Langford says Birmingham Olympic bid no joke – Breaking News from The Birmingham News – al.com

It’s not only a joke, Larry — it’s a terrific joke. Don’t be modest.

The application fee is $500,000, by the way. Yeah, that’s a great idea.

It’s always fun when a member of the team turns out to be a cocaine dealer

UA football player Johns suspended from school, dismissed from team – Breaking News from The Birmingham News – al.com

So, near-legendary Alabama football player Jimmy Johns (who never could manage to turn his athletic gifts into actual football skills, and disappeared from the offense for most of last season even though the team was essentially out of running backs) turns out to be a cocaine dealer. I didn’t know that, but apparently the only other person who didn’t was Nick Saban. Several people have said, “Oh, yeah, I heard about that.” However:

Snyder described the investigation as “fast and furious” to avoid the information leaking to the public.

The “public”, as I said, seems to consist of me and the football coach.

Troy: “Those black people are stealing elections!”

AG criticizes Justice Dept. in voter fraud probe | TuscaloosaNews.com

Maybe I’m oversensitive, but that’s what this quote seems to say to me:

Perry County, about 70 miles west of Montgomery, has a storied place in the voting rights movement. The fatal shooting of a black man after a voting rights march in 1965 prompted the Selma-to-Montgomery voting rights march and led Congress to pass the Voting Rights Act that opened Southern voting rolls to millions of blacks.

‘The civil rights movement that was birthed in that part of our state was birthed to bring about equality, not to allow a different set of people to steal elections,’ King said.

That’s what he’s saying, right?

Seriously, that’s what they’re calling it

Birmingham police launch Operation Omnipresence, seek help from area truck drivers in watching and reporting crime- al.com

Other names considered were “Operation Panopticon” and “Operation Big Brother”.

Through the initiative, Birmingham police will train outside service workers, technicians and delivery people in spotting and reporting criminal activity or suspicious behavior, accidents, lost children or injured people.

So when the police come crashing through your door, they have probable cause — the Domino’s guy told them something funny was going on.