Eb, Robot

Farming robots crank local engineers’ tractors

Is it me, or does that headline sound obscene? Anyway, Teledyne wants to develop robots to do farm scut work. So when the machines take over, they can starve us all to death.

Welcome to the Land of Make-Believe!

Key Democrats think budgets can be approved

Where everyone is delusional! Democrats think that they can pass a budget over a Republican filibuster, assisted by a number of DINOs. (Remember, filibusters are only bad and partisan when Democrats do it. For Republicans, it’s a matter of principle!) Republicans think that the budget can be balanced without cutting education funding by “cutting waste” and that they can actually cut state healthcare funds without the teacher’s union going into Kill Mode. And idiots think that calling for a special session that will cost $400,000 in the middle of a budget crisis is a dandy idea.

Response: No, you self-righteous twit!

CNN.com – Commentary: Turn off your TV! – Mar 31, 2004

The TV Turnoff Week people are the PETA of entertainment.

Those Brits, always thinking small

Want to be an MP? ITV plans ‘Pop Idol’-style show to find election star

I mean, FX was going to run someone for President a couple years ago. A reality show where you just pick a parliamentary candidate is kind of small potatoes. I guess you can’t run for Prime Minister. Or Queen.

Non-degrading reality show

Yahoo! News – Fox reality skein courts auds 03/30/2004

That’s not actually English, is it? I love Variety.

What they’re trying to say is that Fox has yet another reality series planned. This one will have recent law school graduates competing in various mock trials with the ultimate winner supposedly getting a partnership with a supposedly prestigious firm. Yes, it’s an Apprentice rip-off. There will be two teams, Ivy Leaguers and non-Ivy Leaguers. And the reason why this isn’t degrading is because it is impossible to degrade recent law school graduates. (That’s a shout-out to the family, there.)

Not a member of the CFO Mafia

HealthSouth’s financial officer testifies

Apparently, HealthSouth debtholders are seeking accelerated repayment of their loans. Maybe they’re afraid that the people running the company will commit massive fraud or something. Anyway, the acting CFO says that if they keep it up the company will probably go into bankruptcy. In which case, if I understand correctly, the shareholders are even more screwed and the bondholders will get to sell off anything they want to get their money back. (I may be wrong about that — I don’t really understand this money stuff.)

They’ll talk to anyone

Time again to play Quien es mas loco? Today, it’s the Congressional edition. Is your answer the Rev. Sun Myung Moon?

Pandagon: What’s Crazier Than Crazy?

Or is it Michael Jackson?

Michael Jackson Visits Congress

In an upset, the answer is… the Rev. Sun Myung Moon! The Great Gloved One may be crazy, but he doesn’t think he’s the Messiah, or if he does, still has enough sense to not talk about it in public.

I’m so scared

The Miami Herald | 03/31/2004 | Cuba a bioweapons ‘threat,’ U.S. says

Yes, Cuba’s got a thriving bioweapons program. No actual money or resources, but they’re going to kill us all with germs. Let’s see, who else do we not like?

This is lame

Alabama takes Croom’s name off spring award

The University of Alabama football team gives out awards for spring practice. (Which, contrary to the ravings of various basketball pundits last week, is over.) They’re named after former players. One of the awards used to be the Sylvester Croom Commitment to Excellence Award. Now, it’s the Bart Starr Commitment to Excellence Award. (Starr was a great pro, but he was banished to the bench in Tuscaloosa by the monumentally incompetent “Ears” Whitworth. Alabama finished 0-10 Starr’s senior season. “Excellence”, indeed.) Croom (rejected for the Alabama head coaching job last year) took over at Mississippi State this season, and the guy who beat him out for the Alabama job, Mike Shula, decided that it’s not “appropriate” for an award to be named after a coach of another SEC team. Croom wasn’t even told — he found out from a reporter. Lame, lame, lame…

Everyone’s had their fill of that

`Left Behind’ series ends with modest sales

I think I speak for most people who have heard of this series when I say, “Thank God that’s finally over.” As for the modest sales, maybe there is a limit to how much crap people can swallow after all.

UPDATE: Tim LaHaye is a Roy Moore groupie. What a surprise.